Sex and Candy..

Hangin' round downtown by myself
And I had so much time
To sit and think about myself
And then there she was
Like double cherry pie
Yeah there she was
Like disco superfly
I smell sex and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair
Who's that casting devious stares
In my direction
Mama this surely is a dream

-Marcy Playground

Irrationally bringing back my past. Hastily. Anxiously. I'm trying to breathe and I find myself drawing small fast breaths. Like I'm about to cry. Which I'm not. I dream of different skies, different lives, and still wake up feeling trapped and restless. I hate crossroads and yet I constantly find myself at them, obviously making the wrong turn. Though, what does actually wrong mean when its what you have chosen..  And then I disappear, in the small hours of the night. Right before it dawns. When the sky feels the darkest. Not because I don't love you, but because I have to.

'To thine own self be true' which is positively the heaviest and most chilling phrase. I'm afraid to be true to myself, so I listen to music. I cover my silence with notes. Not with noise. I sing loudly, I scream out the lyrics. I live through them- they are already there, beautifully constructed.

And I irrationally bring back my past. Hastily. Anxiously.